Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
