her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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