I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The adults are the big ones right?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
