You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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