she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
