Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
