Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
