I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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