And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
