i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
