Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
