Dual....:-)
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Randomize
