I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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