i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
