Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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