Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
