smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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