Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
