He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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