How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
