last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well you can't waste a boner
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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