i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You ruined the universe
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
