bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
