This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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