marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
