Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is my gift to your gina
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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