He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize