Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fuck appropriateness.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
