White coat. Heels.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
