I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize