I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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