I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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