She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
