But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
