somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
