I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
