I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
