You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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