There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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