last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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