I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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