??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
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I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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