I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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