Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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