"it" just moved
her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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