i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
