did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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