he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
id be glad to
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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