is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
