Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
