yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize