Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
