A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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