I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
