Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize