can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
