I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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