I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
