wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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