lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
