What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
