I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
