Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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