I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
