I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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