its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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